Snorkank Awesomness
by KaraSays
Summary: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SICA! A story co-written with the wonderful MistyMist, for our dear friends birthday. You can't give a summary for this, just read it!


Disclaimer: Yup I totally own Harry Potter, Can't you tell! I mean yeah I own all seven books, and the bedtime stories, plus all the movies that have been out so far. I'm just that awesome; you should bow to my awesomeness. (Inside joke, don't go nuts people). -Kara

Characters: Blaise/Luna. Albus Severus/Scorpius.

Happy Birthday Jess. Not only one of my best friends but my soul mate!!! This is to you, from two of the most awesome people you know, we love you tons! And hope you have a fantastic birthday!

Love

Karasays && MistyMist

Luna Lovegood stood in the middle of her bedroom staring at the man in front of her, wondering how she could ever get so lucky. In front of her stood the one and only Blaise Zabini looking at her with the most loving expression she had ever seen. They had just come back from their dear friends, sister's funeral. Not that they particularly cared for Ginny, but they went to support Ronald. On the way home Blaise's godson said he needed help with something and Blaise couldn't deal with it while in his mood. That's what thinking of Ginny always did to him, made him angry for days. Luna fixed that though, as soon as they were in the house she pushed him up against the wall and proceeded to make him forget about that terrible ex girlfriend. Now he was standing all smiles but with worry in his eyes about his godson.

"It's because you know I'm right," She said proudly.

"Yes I suppose it is I mean if he wants to be with Albus I won't stand in the way." Blaise said with a sigh as he gathered his wife in his arms and kissed her a top her head.

"Now go help him work this out, He needs to know how to tell Albus," Luna said as she started to untangle herself from her husband.

L&B

Scorpius felt restless. This constant fidgeting was becoming annoying even to himself as he went from sitting to standing to pacing all the while biting on his perfectly manicured nails. Being in love with ones best friend of seven years certainly took a toll on ones sanity. He had been all set to tell him too when Al's mother had fallen ill and the timing suddenly seemed wrong. Scorpius wasn't even a hundred percent sure Albus was even gay let alone interested in him _that _way. Thankfully his godfather, Blaise, had promised to help him with his problem so that when the timing was right he would be able to take the snorkack by the horn and just tell Al already and pray he didn't ruin their friendship entirely.

As he was pacing his god father walked in and sat down, just watching him pace.

"You know you shouldn't fret over such things," Uncle Blaise told him.

Scorpius jumped and let out a very undignified squeak. He hadn't noticed his godfather entering the room. He quickly returned to his nail biting pacing in an effort to cover his embarrassment. Blaise smirked, amused by this godsons antics. After several minutes of watching the boy pace he was beginning to feel dizzy so he cleared his throat. Finally getting the boys attention he spoke. "Sit down and let's talk," Blaise said clearly amused. After waiting a few for his nephew to get situated he started in, "Now tell me your worries so we can plan this accordingly.""What if he isn't," Scorpius paused half way through because we weren't sure how to say it without it sounding vulgar"Yes?" Blaise said, requesting him to finish."Gay," Scorpius replied with a sigh. He didn't know how else to say it, straight and to the point seemed fair enough."Then you stay his best friend," Blaise stated as if was obvious."But what if he does not wish to after he finds out my feeling?" the boy asked clearly terrified of the idea."Oh this is perfect," Blaise said sitting back in his chair and chuckling."I'm so very glad I amuse you," Scorpius replied irritated."Did anyone ever tell you how I got your aunt Luna?" Blaise asked leaning forward with a smile on his face."No, but I don't see how this has," Scorpius started to rant."The answer would be no, because she got me. I had feelings for her but never told her until she professed her undying love for me," Blaise said."Shenanigans, I did not," Luna said walking in and grabbing a book from the desk, "If you're going to tell the story, tell it right," She said as she went to the door."That is a wonderful idea tho," She said as she slipped out, but not before walking back to her husband to give him a sweet kiss."Well, that was swell," Scorpius said as he rolled his eyes."Do you want help or not?" Blaise said raising his eyebrow."Yes, yes, go on old man," the young boy replied with a smirk."Rude," Blaise said with a smile."Are you going to tell the story or not?" Scorpius asked chuckling.

"Alright, sit back and get relaxed," Blaise replied.

"So it was Harry's birthday party, and you know how we get when it comes to his birthday parties," Blaise said with a chuckle, "So we were all there and I was with the wretched woman Ginny that I was dating, and we were all having a blast. Well, all of them were, I couldn't pay attention to anything else besides Luna. I watched as she danced, laughed, smiled and talked with her friends while I sat at a table across the hall. Ginny tried to get me to dance with her but I couldn't, all I wanted to do was go tell your aunt how much I loved her. I didn't of course, because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I watched her. I had been talking to Harry and his lovely new wife (Harry and Ginny had divorced several years before but remained _almost _civil for the children's sake) when I looked over at Luna and saw that our dear friend Neville had his arm around her, I ended up spitting my drink all over the birthday boy," Blaise paused to chuckle and see if his nephew was even listening, and he found out that he was indeed.

"Ginny? Really? I am so glad you straightened that out, what terrible taste you had," Scorpius said picking on his favourite uncle.

Laughing Blaise responded, "Yes, that's what your father told me."

"So what happen, did you rip his arm off?" Scorpius asked leaning forward to hear the rest of the story.

"No, I sat my drink down and asked her to dance," Blaise said with a smile.

"That's it?" Scorpius asked, he knew it couldn't be that easy.

"Well no, I asked and she said "It took you forever to come over here, I think I should leave you to the narggles, but I love you so I won't," and she grabbed my hand." Blaise replied.

"Then what?" Scorpius asked confused.

"I just stood there wondering what she meant, I didn't know what to think and I was so caught up in the surprise that I couldn't move. Then she squeezed my hand and I locked eyes with her, before I could stop myself I was kissing her madly in front of all of our friends and Harry, the dog, he is was wolf whistling." Blaise laughed out.

"Well, that's not helpful at all!" Scorpius exclaimed.

"Don't you see the point," Blaise asked watching his nephew.

"Well yes, I need to ask another man to this shindig and make Albus jealous, which is easy to do, I mean there are plenty of men and such, but what happens when Albus doesn't care?" Scorpius asked.

"You will just have to take that risk," Blaise said standing up.

"Yeah, great, you're a lot of help," Scorpius said rolling his eyes.

"It's all part of my awesomeness," Blaise said with a smirk as he headed for the door.

"Will it work?" Scorpius asked sounding a little frightened.

"Of course it will, and then you can come back and tell me all about how my amazing plan worked," Blaise said confidently.

"Yeah yeah," Scorpius replied.

"Now, I am going to swoon at the sight of your aunt and my lovely wife," Blaise said as he walked out the door.

"Kiss arse," Scorpius yelled.

"No, it's another part of my awesomeness," Blaise said as he shut the door on his nephews laughter. He was glad he could lighten the mood, and hoped that his nephew came back in a good mood tonight.

S&D

Scorpius waited an entire week to put his uncle's plan into action. He may be a Malfoy born and breed but he was not so bad a friend that he didn't respect his best-friends was mourning his mother's passing. Albus had had quite enough drama in his life for the time being but surely ten days was enough time to recovery. His mother was Ginny Weasley after all.

He decided that the birthday party of Albus's extremely handsome brother James would be the perfect place to make his move. He also decided who better to make his boy jealous then the one boy in all of Hogwarts Castle that was considered to be number one on the most wanted list? Derrick Creevey, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, Leader of the Junior Order of the Phoenix, Head Boy and all round gay sex god. Yes, Derrick would be the perfect choice to inspire green-eyed soul consuming jealousy in Al if in fact there was such an emotion to be had in regards to little ol' Scorpius Malfoy.

Scorpius had no interest in Derrick romantically. He wasn't deaf, dumb, blind and stupid so he could see his appeal but he was more interested in the quiet, humble, bashful type, (in other words Albus Severus Potter)

It was the night of the party and Scorpius had told Derrick of his plans, though he knew the man wouldn't care he didn't want to feel as he was using him.

"So do our best to make him jealous and see where that leads?" Derrick asked in an excited voice.

"Yes, but lets not go overboard," Scorpius replied suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the other boys enthusiasm.

"Oh I think I can manage that," Derrick said with a chuckle.

They were quiet for a moment before Scorpius asked, "What if it doesn't work? What if he doesn't want me? What if...."

"What if the sky falls down around us and the earth gets sucked into a black hole," Derrick said "You really need to chill out mate." He added with what Scorpius assumed was meant to be a comforting shoulder squeeze.

Scorpius fortified himself with a deep breath and borrowed some inner Gryffindor from Derrick then made his way to the Potter's front door.

"'Lo Malfoy," greeted an ever cheerful James Potter who added a punch to Scorpius bicep for good measure before turning to greet Derrick.

"Hello James, Happy Birthday." James grinned even wider as Scorpius handed him a bottle shaped gift "Have you seen…"

"Al's somewhere in the back yard last time I checked," James explained as he turned his attention back to the swelling crowd in the living room. "Thanks for the pressie. See you later lads."

Scorpius didn't miss the looks and whispers he received as he walked through the crowded house towards the backyard hand in hand with Dashing Derrick (as he had been dubbed by _In Hogwarts Today_- the student paper to which Saffron Brown-Finnegan was editor and chief). Albus sat in a group of cousins and school mates, his head thrown back as he laughed at something one of them had said. Scorpius's breath caught in his throat at the sight.

"He is pretty hot isn't he? There's just something about a Potter that is pretty hard to resist." Derrick remarked casually as he passed a bottle of cold butter beer to Scorpius.

Scorpius almost choked on his drink when the words sunk in properly. Derrick thumped him on the back almost knocking on his face before exclaiming "Oh my Merlin, I love this song! Let's dance." He did not give Scorpius a chance to reply simply dragging onto a make shift dance-floor and pulling him flush against his hard chest.

Taken by surprise Scorpius almost did away with his plan and pushed Derrick away but after a few seconds thought he did the complete opposite, grabbing Derrick on the bum. Derrick being not just a pretty face caught on fairly quickly and mirrored Scorpius's actions. Within minutes Albus was up and charging across the garden towards them. He looked absolutely livid making Scorpius smile on the inside maybe his uncle Blaise _was_ made of awesome after all.

The whole situation took a sudden turn for the worse in under a minute. Once Albus had split the crowd out of fear the sparks coming off him would do some serious damage he pulled his wand, pointed it at Scorpius shouting. "What the heck is the meaning of this!?"

"The meaning of what?" Scorpius asked trying to keep his rapidly beating heart from showing on his face.

"You know perfectly well WHAT!" Albus flailed causing blue sparks to shot out the tip of his the wand. The crowd backed off even further but Derrick and Scorpius stood firm.

"Albus. Mate if you'll just give us a moment to explain…"Derrick spoke calmly reaching for Al's wand.

"You are not. My. Mate. And don't you dare touch me!" Albus fumed whirling around on Derrick and punching him sure on the jaw. Scorpius gasped along with almost everyone else beside Al and Derrick. The action seemed to bring Albus out of his rage and took off toward the house. No one stood in his way.

"I am so sorry, Derrick, I didn't know he would get so upset. That was never part of the plan, let me help you.." Scorpius said torn between finding some ice for Derricks rapidly bruising jaw and running after Albus.

"Looks like the plan worked out better than you expected if you ask me," Derrick said smiling slightly before hissing in pain.

"I really am sorry though…"Scorpius repeated.

"Here put some ice on that," said one of the many Weasley cousins who hadn't taken off after all already. Scorpius thought it might be one of Bill Weasley's kids but who could be sure with so many of them. Derrick looked positively joyful over the assistance Weasley number 482 was offering.

"I'm not," he replied smiling this time at the tall young man know holding his elbow in an attempt to lead him to the ice bucket on the drinks table. "Go get him, Score, I am in more than capable hands I can just tell."

Scorpius took off quickly calling 'thanks' and 'catch you later' over his shoulder.

AS&S

Scorpius found Albus lying on his bed staring at the ceiling throwing a quaffle up and catching it. Scorpius knocked on the doorframe before taking a fortifying breath and asking.

"May I come in?"

"No," Albus replied rolling onto his side to face away from him. Scorpius ignored him, taking a seat backwards in the desk chair.

"How long?" Albus asked just above a whisper several minutes of silence later.

"I'm sorry, how long what? Have I been gay? Keeping secrets? You'll have to be more specific if you want an honest answer," Scorpius had no idea why he suddenly felt defensive.

"How long," Albus began as he finally rolled over to face Scorpius. His eyes were red and his cheeks looked wet "have you been seeing Dashing Derrick?"

"Umm…well….about that. I only brought him along tonight to make you jealous. I don't even like him at all he's a big headed fool and as boring as bat shit to be honest but Uncle Blaise said that if I was going to make you jealous I had to choose someone high profile…"Scorpius answered before starting to bite his nails anxiously awaiting Al's thoughts.

"Well bully for uncle Blaise," Albus huffed.

"I really am sorry. If I had even a drop of Gryffindor blood in me I could have just told you instead of resorting to devious Slytherin plans," Scorpius told him solemnly.

"Told me what then? I already knew you were gay. I've known since we were twelve and Rosie tried to kiss you after the Halloween feast. You almost threw up, do you remember that?" Albus chuckled half heartedly.

"Merlin yes I remember! She tried again the next two years running as well. Only each time she tried all I could think about was how much better kissing would be if it were _you _kissing me." Scorpius's voice dropped with each word he spoke until the last was more a breath then actually words.

Albus sat upright so quickly his head spun and he had to grasp the head board for balance, "You thought about kissing me? Really?"

"All the time," Scorpius admitted "Please don't hate me. I swear to Merlin that I would never do anything to hurt our friendship on purpose but I have been in love with you since third year and I couldn't keep it to myself any more. I should go…Please don't hate me your friendship means more to me than anything else in the world." Scorpius got up walking out the door and started down the hall way. He was almost to the first floor landing when Albus caught up, grasping his shoulder and spinning him around.

"Did I hear you right? You're…In l-love with me?" Albus stammered though his green eyes never left Scorpius's grey ones.

Scorpius stared back, ":Yes. I understand that you don't feel that way about me but I had to tell you anyway."

The next thing Scorpius was aware of was Albus's soft pick lips pressing against his own stealing Scorpius's breath away. The kiss ended just as suddenly as it began but Albus didn't pull away far just enough to smile blindly at him.

"Helga's Hippogriff you are an idiot! I love you too you great git! Dashing Derrick, honestly what on earth were you thinking?" Al didn't give Scorpius a chance to answer before he was dragging him back to his bedroom and kissing him breathless once more.

^&^&^&^&^&^&

A Few days After the party Blaise and Luna were sitting in the dinning room enjoying their breakfast when an owl brought in a letter.

"It's from Scorpius," Luna said as she grabbed the letter and opened it. As she scanned the letter Blaise saw a smile come across her lips, then she started laughing before she handed it to him.

_My Dearest uncle and aunt,_

_I did it aunt Luna, I grabbed that stubborn snorkack by the horns! Albus said he is not stubborn or a snorkack, but I asked him how he knew and he couldn't answer. Fantastic I know!_

_Uncle Blaise, your right you are full of awesomeness, but Albus says next time to just tell him. Silly Gryffindor I know. _

_Aunt Luna, we will have lots of girl talk over this later this week at our lunch. Oh can Albus come, I do not wish to be parted from him._

_With love,_

_Scorpius._

Blaise started laughing and then looked over to see Luna reading another letter. She didn't look very happy and she sat the letter down and glared at her husband.

"What is it darling," He asked unsure.

"Because of you, "Dashing Derrick" got punched at then had to be taken care of," She snapped out.

"Your point," Blaise said hiding his chuckles.

"It appears that he just had to sweep my favorite Weasly off his feet and now they have run off together," She said angerly.

"God heaven woman, Lucas is a bigger man-slut than Derrick, what are you worried about," Blaise said shocked as to why this would bother her so much.

"We were going hunting for prinnies tomorrow, now he will be gone making some idiot swoon instead of looking for an animal he asked me to help him find!" She said as she stood up and walked out.

"Oh Dear," Blaise said chuckling as he to got up to go calm her down.

END!


End file.
